The Turning point

When chasing a dream or trying to learn something new, there comes a point in time where things start to click. In my paddling career, most of those moments occur after being taught a lesson by the water, often in the form of having a rough outing. It is those moments that I seek, the "Turning Point", where practice becomes instinctual. The mind clears and a goal is realized. 

In the past year, there have been several moments where everything starts working. Mastering the roll last year, gave me confidence to take on Autumn Gales again. My bracing was solid and got tested relentlessly, by the Fishers Island Sound. My first run through The Race, was pure aggression. I had an axe to grind with the sea. Wave after wave, I surfed and smashed my way through to the end. After I finished settling the score, the real lesson began. I was teamed up with a fellow named Tim Motte. A BCU 5 star paddler and genuinely awesome guy. He taught me finesse, when working through a tide race. How to move and tame the water flowing by. How to feel the water, not fight it. "Close your eyes", he said. My reply was, "You want me to do what!". Paddling in a field of standing waves, with my eyes closed, was not on my bucket list. I did it anyway and found that I was trying too hard. Patience and feel was the key.

Fast forward to spring. I returned to St.Pete to assist Tom Nickels with an ACA IDW course. The same course that I had taken the year before. Tom issued an interesting challenge. Teach a few students to roll and earn my Rolling Instructor endorsement. Not being one to shy away from a challenge, I took him up on the offer. The session went off well and the next day, the lessons were put to the test. One of my pupils pulled off a roll, on command and in conditions. It was then, seeing a students success, that solidified the reason I wanted to start teaching. 

Things started to decline during the summer. I had not been able to go out and practice and I got rusty. My work schedule was wearing me out and it showed in my paddling. A trip back to Wicopesset Ct showed just how rusty I had gotten. Tired, stiff and fighting for control, I found I just didn't have it on that day. I was one and done through the race. After a poor performance there, I started my IDW for L4 status in Ocean City. Again, I got beat up and found that my beloved Greenland Paddle was no match for the surf. Having little to no practice rolling, my confidence was low. I made it through, but with a lot of work to do. The debrief after the event was as expected. Stern but encouraging.

A trip out west to Deception Pass, deepened my feelings of paddling inadequacy. Still unable to tap into the "fight" of the "fight or flight" mechanism. I got dumped hard in the unrelenting current and had to be put back in my boat. Afterward, I tightened up and my confidence was low. Shaky is how I would rate my performance. I survived it. 

A hard peel out into the ferocious current

Work continued to demand the bulk of my time. Time to practice was limited at best. I took my gear to Florida for a long weekend and hooked up with paddling friend Chris Naff. He lent me a boat and we went out to practice rolling and general boat control. Back to basics, so to speak. My roll with the euro was stronger than I gave myself credit for. I started to feel connected to the boat again. Edging and steering started to feel more natural than it had in a long time. A peek into the inlet revealed a half mile, or so, of white water. I quick discussion was all it took, to go see what it was about. Once past the chop, we found that the waves were organized and clean. A patient few strokes followed by a powerful couple of pulls, put me on the longest ride of my paddling career. I was back! After many long rides, we decided that it was time to pull the plug. 

I dove back into a unrelenting work schedule. To further complicate life, a relocation to Florida was becoming a real possibility. As time marched on, the possibility became a reality and major changes were just over the horizon. Every second was committed to doing something. Travelling for work, fulfilling my family responsibilities, packing and ultimately moving. I was not doing what I needed to do in order stay in paddling shape. My diet switched to the more convenient, and far less healthy options. Every attempt to eat right was thwarted by the lack of time. I did not have a chance to put a paddle in the water until November.

 It had been almost two months since I had sat in a boat. My paddling, bracing and roll were strong. It was my fitness level that became the issue. On a particularly "sporty" day at Tybee Island, a student became unresponsive to commands and was so frightened that he was having trouble staying upright. This happened at the worst possible spot in the inlet with the current flowing out at about 5 knots. Tom called for contact tow as the paddler could no longer stay upright. I was called upon to assist with a tow and help Tom get the paddler out of the danger zone. I swooped in and was getting ready to clip onto the bow of both boats, when I heard "HANG ON!". I looked over my shoulder and saw we were getting ready to be swallowed by a very large breaking wave. I was very exposed and in a very bad position. The wave hit us and I was ripped away from the others with a force I had never felt before. It all happened in slow motion. I can vividly see my paddle floating just out of my reach. I was forced to wet exit and was now in trouble myself. What I did not realize, my energy supply had been exhausted during the previous rescues. Self rescue was difficult under normal conditions, but I was exhausted. I got rescued and paddled a water filled boat back to the shore. The self de-brief was brutal and the self evaluation started from there. 

Getting a gentile reminder of the power of the sea during a rescue

A good run during our surfing session

The surf break was constant bracing practice

Fast forward another month, and I was barely a few days upon arriving in Florida permanently. I met Tom Nickels, Chris Naff and Ron McDonald at Vilano Beach for a chance to preview the conditions for the upcoming ACA L4 Certification. We paddled out through the inlet and I started to realize how tired I had become. All of the work and stress had taken it's toll. The reality hit me like that wave had done a month ago, I was not ready. My physical state was not up to the conditions that were before me. All of the gains last year and the struggles this year, came to this one moment. I simply was unable to put myself out in the angry conditions present, knowing that I was not even close to my best. It was hard to accept, but it was the smart thing to do. The sea is unforgiving and deserves respect. The hardest thing to reconcile, was how I was going to go on from here. This was a true low point in my paddling journey, another Turning Point.